Adolescents can be verbally impulsive by nature. However, this does not mean that they should have a free license to respond and behave in a disrespectful manner. In fact, research shows that rude teenagers are likely to turn into rude adults, so it is a critical time for teaching the teenager to deal with anger without answering, rolling his eyes or slamming the doors.
Hearing your teen say «It’s not right» or «I don’t have to listen to you» can be infuriating. Of course, many teenagers use more colorful language to express their dissatisfaction. No matter what your teen says, how you respond to disrespect is important because the kind of discipline which you use influences the likelihood that the behavior will continue.
Effective ways to respond to a responding teenager
These are the most effective ways to respond when your teen responds to you.
Establish rules that emphasize respect
Create rules that clarify what behaviors are acceptable and will not be tolerated. While some parents do not bother to close the doors, others have a zero tolerance policy. Make it clear that certain behaviors, such as naming, threats, and cuts, will have consequences. negative .
If you yell at your teenager or argue with him, you will only make the situation worse. So no matter what your teenager says is disrespectful, stay calm.
Take a deep breath, move away, or develop a mantra to keep repeating in your head. Do whatever it takes to keep your temper from taking over.
Ignore attempts to get their attention
The answer often comes from a teenager’s desire not to do something they don’t want to do. After all, the more your teenager can get you into an argument, the longer it can take to do what you asked.
If you take the bait and quarrel, they can postpone following your instructions. So sometimes ignore a small movement of the eyes or a murmur may be the best course of action.
When you do not make eye contact, quarrel or pay attention to behavior, you are likely to stop. And you can get back on track to make sure your teen follows your instructions.
Do not give up
Another reason teens respond is that they think they can make their parents change their minds. Whatever you do, don’t give up when your teen behaves disrespectfully. If you do this, you will reinforce disrespectful behavior and your teen will find out that it is an effective way to get what he wants.
Don’t let the teenager make you feel guilty, so that you change your mind once you say no. Even if your teenager says he is the worst parent in the world or tries to convince you that you are ruining his life, follow his rules.
Give a warning
If your teen refuses to follow the instructions you gave them or continues to behave in a disrespectful manner, give a warning. Tell them what the consequence will be if they don’t stop.
Do not repeat the warning over and over again. Instead, give a single warning and follow the consequences if you do not change your behavior.
Continue with a consequence
If your teen breaks a rule by calling your name or doesn’t change his or her behavior when you gave him or her a warning, continue with a consequence. Remove privileges or assign additional responsibilities when needed.
Solve problems together
If replication has become a common problem in your home, use the opportunity as a way to learn your teen problem-solving skills . Wait until everyone feels calm and working together to address the issue.
Sit down and discuss your concerns about disrespect. Invite your teen to come up with ideas and strategies on how to approach this behavior. Make it clear that you want everyone in the house to be respectful of each other.
Show that you are also willing to make changes. For example, if your teen says he answers because you always tell him to clean his room when he watches his favorite show, work together to find a solution.
A word from Verywell
With a proactive and consistent plan, disrespectful behavior can be improved. Learning to interact with others without being rude is an important life skill that will serve your teen in the future.
Above all, the best way to reduce disrespectful behavior in a teenager is to connect with a meaningful and mutually respectful relationship. If you notice that you frequently scold him, tell your teenager what needs to be corrected, or approach him in anticipation of a conflict, the disrespectful behavior will continue. Instead, focus on enjoying your teen and investing in taking care of the things that matter to you. It makes a differenceerence.