The natural consequences, as the word «natural» suggests, are what happens without any intervention or interference as a result of an action or decision. Some good examples of this would be a child who refuses to wear a jacket when it is cold outside and then has nothing to wear when he feels cold or a child who repeatedly forgets to bring money from lunch to school. and then he is hungry at noon. .
The logical consequences, on the other hand, are those given to a child by a parent or caregiver when the child misbehaves or breaks a rule and are ideally related to bad behavior. For example, a child who does not listen when told not to throw a ball around the house and break a lamp may have to give up the allowance money or do extra work to help pay for a replacement; A child who is told not to ride a bike on the street, but does so anyway, may have his bike taken for the rest of the day.
The consequences can be positive or negative. If you go to bed on time, the child will feel rested and ready to learn the next day, while you fight before bed and stay up late, sending messages to friends or watching TV, will make the child feel panting, grumpy and generally grumpy the next day.
How are the consequences of children learned?
As a general rule, logical consequences are often the best option when it comes to a child’s health and safety. After all, he would not allow a child not to brush his teeth and would allow the natural consequence, the cavities, to form in the mouth; In this case, a child who refuses or forgets to brush would be treated with a logical consequence, such as not receiving dessert or sweets when the rest of the family does.
Both natural and logical consequences can help teach children to make better decisions and learn from their mistakes. (Your child will probably not struggle to bring a jacket next time if he trembles, for example. And a child who loses access to mobile phone from sending too many text messages, you will probably remember not to do this again). Some advantages of the consequences of changing a child’s behavior: .
- The consequences allow the wrong choice or behavior problem stay away from your baby. The action leads to consequences; the emphasis is on choice and result, not on the child.
- There is no shame, judgment or punishment involved. A decision was made that led to something, short and simple. So if a child has not been careful and has lost or broken something, he will be asked how he will work to replace it, without making him feel bad about what he has done.
- The consequences eliminate anger and punishment from the equation and then focus on teaching. There is no need to react enthusiastically and be angry with your child, because the consequence is what you will learn, not a long speech about what went wrong or Screams or punishments .
- It puts responsibility and choice in the hands of your child.
Intelligent ways of using natural and logical consequences
- Remember that threats and punishments are not necessary. «If you don’t stop him now, I …» is not necessary, because it is understood that if your child does «x», «y» will result. Making a list of consequences will help your child see what the results will be when he makes poor decisions.
- Remember that it is a matter of reminding your child of their choices. Instead of threats like «If you don’t stop kicking your brother right now, I’ll kick you out!» you can simply remind your child that he or she has options: he or she may stop hitting his or her brother, or stay calm and calm down and think about your actions until he’s ready to apologize and join the rest of the family.
- Stay consistent. If your child expresses anger or resentment when faced with the consequence, keep calm and remind him that this was his choice. Don’t give up and let him get away with it. .
- Let the consequence match the mistake. If your child does not pick up their toys or clothes after being asked, the consequence may be that they will not be able to play with their toys or computer or video games until they are ready to clean up the mess.
- Take the emotion out of your interaction and speak in a friendly but firm tone. There is no need to annoy or upset your child, because it is a simple matter of cause and effect – a mistake leads to a consequence.
- Don’t talk about the past – stick for now and the immediate future. Avoid saying things like «Never listen» or «Always forget.» Respect the behavior in question and the choice your child makes will lead to a result. Try not to dwell on past actions or make judgments about your future actions.