School sounds and the news is not good: your son was caught cheating. You have two options: you can panic and eliminate threats and punishments, or you can use it as a learning moment.
Although your child should not be immune to discipline, it is not always the best strategy. If they are punished without really understanding the problem of deception, they are less likely to stop and try harder not to get caught in the future. .
Listen to all sides of the story
As a parent, it may be in your nature to fight for your child and take a stand against the teacher or student who accused your child of cheating. This is not the way to go. Ask calm questions to understand the circumstances and react appropriately.
While deception would have meant looking at the neighbor’s newspaper in their day, today’s children have much more sophisticated means of cheating. From using apps that solve math problems to using smartwatches that give them answers, technology gives kids creative cheating tools .
So make sure you listen to what the teacher has to say about how she cheated on your child. Also get your child’s version of the story. But before you insist that your child will never cheat, keep in mind that more than 50% of children cheat at one time or another. In the long run, your child will benefit when he understands that his parents will not save him when they have made a wrong decision.
In a survey conducted by Rutgers University professor Donald McCabe at 24,000 high schools, 64% of students admitted to cheating on a test, 58% admitted to plagiarism, and 95% said they cheated in one way or another. .
Find the reason
From an early age, children are aware that there is dishonesty. Your children probably know that you are blocking your car and house to prevent people from entering. Or you can use a lock to prevent the bicycles from being stolen while you are playing on the playground.
And you probably had to deal with cheating while playing games at least once or twice. In order toTo the frustration of their opponents, preschoolers often create their own rules to make sure they win (and at this age, it is developmentally appropriate).
But for some children, the deception continues and occasionally extends beyond the limits of the night of family board games. So, if your child has been caught cheating at school, it is important to consider the underlying reasons.
Confusion about academic dishonesty
Even older children may not understand what is right and what is wrong in academia. A fourth grader might think it’s okay to copy a word-for-word encyclopedia, and a sixth grader might think it’s okay to copy another student’s work in a group setting.
In these situations, upset with your child is not necessarily the most appropriate reaction. Instead, it is important to guide your child through these sometimes difficult circumstances so that he understands the difference between collaboration, paraphrasing and cheating or plagiarism.
Technology can blur the line for you too. Can your student use an application to translate their work into French class? Is it okay for your child to use the Internet to find answers to their tasks instead of their textbooks?
If you have questions about academic integrity, please talk to the teacher. Find out what lessons the teacher is trying to teach in class and whether your child’s approach will help him or her learn those lessons.
When a student has too many activities, such as sports, music lessons, social obligations, chores and more, he may feel the pressure to cut corners somewhere and this can be manifested by cheating in school.
Students who care a lot about getting a perfect GPA or entering a good college can resort to deception. Whether you’re trying to pay someone else to write your article or copy your best friend’s themes, they may think it’s the best way to secure your future.
If so, talk about why cheating is wrong. Discuss the possible consequences and consequences of academic dishonesty and make sure you don’t push too hard your child to be successful.
Lack of motivation
Unmotivated students cheat because it is the least resistant path (the other alternative is simply not to get involved in any work). So, instead of spending time doing their own homework or studying for tests, I can take a shortcut.
If your child is not motivated to get good grades honestly, you can offer some tangible rewards. If they sit at the table and do their job while you monitor them, they may gain extra time on their electronic devices. Or, if they spend their time studying a test, they can earn time playing after dinner.
There is also the possibility that your child may not copy someone else’s work, but may borrow their own tasks. If this is the case, then they are as guilty as the receiving child.
If your child can’t say no, show him that he still needs some skills withstands peer pressure. Talk about how to say no if someone asks you to copy your work and help them develop a script that they can use next time. And work with them to be a good friend without conspiring in dishonesty.
Take disciplinary action
Not all cases of deception require discipline, but some do, especially if your child learns the lesson better from the consequences. If the school grants your child a detention or a zero on their test, let these consequences stand. Do not quarrel with teachers or the school administration to excuse your child from school disciplinary action.
It is also suitable remove an item or experience. which your child cherishes. Electronic devices, such as a laptop, tablet or smartphone, are likely to be in demand. You can also cancel a fun outing or not allow your child to participate in an appreciated extracurricular activity for a period of time.
In some cases, the refund is adequate. Talk to your child about ways to remedy his or her actions. Refund It can mean apologizing or doing a kind action for the student you copied from, for the teacher who caught you cheating in class or even the whole class. The goal is not to publicly humiliate your child, but to help them understand that cheating can affect more than their own lives.
After an incident of deception, sit down with your child each week to create a plan for schoolwork that will ensure that they take steps to complete their work. You can decide to set the study time in which your child should do homework, study or read a book for a set time each afternoon or evening.
Take a few preventative steps to avoid cheating on your child again. A few simple strategies can go a long way in encouraging your child to be honest in the future.
- Tell your child not to cheat. It may sound silly, but a study published in Journal of Economic Psychology found that children were more likely to be honest when told not to cheat.Make your expectations clear and say, «I hope you’re honest and keep an eye on your own role.» It could make a big difference.
- Examine the values you instill in your children. Consider how much you talk to your children about the importance of good grades compared to how much you talk about the importance of being honest. If you do not invest a lot of conversations in honesty, your child may assume that getting good grades is the most important thing, even if it means cheating to get there.
- Be an honest role model. It can be tempting to say that your 13-year-old is only 12, so you can save a few bucks at the buffet, but fooling the system teaches children that it’s okay to be dishonest when they’re likely to be rewarded. So make sure you are a honest model especially when it is difficult to do so.
- Explain yourself when you are in a difficult situation. There may be times when you lie to avoid someone’s feelings, like when your neighbor asked you if you loved the fruit cake they left you with. If you choose kindness instead of brutal honesty, explain your choices to the child. It is important for children to know that being honest does not have to be about other people.
- Examine your disciplinary practices. A study published in the journal Child development found that harsh discipline makes children good liars. So consider whether your child cheated to avoid the consequences of getting a poor grade. If you are too strict when it comes to grades and academic performance, your child may resort to deception to avoid punishment.
Praise the effort, not the result. It can be tempting praise your child for getting an A on a project or getting a high score on a test, but that can send the wrong message. Your child may think they need to be successful to earn praise. So say things like “Good job working so hard” or “Good job; I can say that all the time you spent studying was worth it ”.Effort fatigue is important.