Many parents feel that their children are out of control at one time or another. But usually that feeling is pretty fleeting. However, for some parents, runaway children have become the norm. Their children refuse to listen, break the rules and do not care about the consequences.
If you feel that your children are getting out of control, take steps to regain your strength. Maintaining your authority is important for your child’s well-being and is also important for your own emotional health.
Establish rules and structure
Believe it or not, children like rules and limits. Children feel safe when they trust that their parents are good leaders who can set and enforce rules. If you find it difficult to get your children to listen, these strategies can help.
Specify the rules of the house
Reduces chaoscreating a ready clear of rules by written . Focus on basic rules like «Use kind words» and «Ask before borrowing items.» The rules can be applied more easily after they are written and discussed in the family.
Introduce the family into a presentation routine more structure in your child’s day. Create time for homework, chores, dinner, family activities and play. Then try to follow the schedule as much as possible during the week.
Whether your children are 4 or 14, it is important to assign them business regular right for you age . Get your regular children to work together so they can practice responsible family members. .
Use positive language
Focus on what your kids do they can do, instead of why they can not . So instead of saying, «You won’t watch TV until you clean your room,» say, «You can watch TV as soon as your room is clean.» Offer positive options this will give your child some control.
Give effective instructions
The way of give instructions is important. Be firm and direct and give only one instruction at a time. Use a calm voice and make sure you have your child’s attention before you speak.
When children do not trust their parents to maintain order, they suffer great suffering. And this suffering can lead to even more behavioral problems.
Offer consequences for deviations
Establish clear consequences for breaking the rules. It is important to be consistent. When your children know that every violation of the rules will have an immediate consequence, they will be less likely to misbehave. Carefully consider which of these consequences is most likely to be effective for each child.
- Pause – Time-out has traditionally been used to address out-of-control behaviors. However, it can often feel like a punishment and can lead to more oppositional behaviors. A more effective solution is a «quiet corner» or «entry time». It is important to teach your child the skills he needs to control himself more. Otherwise, they will return to previous behaviors when they are unregulated.
- Loss of privileges – It could be an electronic device, a favorite toy or an activity, but don’t take these privileges for long. Your child may give up or act worse if you take too many privileges or take them for days or weeks at a time.
- Refund : If your child’s misbehavior affects someone else, the refund may be in order. Have them do a mission for someone they hurt or lend the victim their favorite toy.
- Logical consequences : Give your child the opportunity to take responsibility for his or her behavior. If it stains the walls, I can wash it. If something breaks, I can pay to fix it.
Don’t be discouraged if your child’s behavior seems to get a little worse before it improves. When you start to give consequences, a child out of control will reject you. Once they see that you are serious about the outcome, their behavior will probably go away.
If your child is not motivated by the consequences, he or she may need some extra incentives to stay on track. Use positive reinforcement to motivate them to follow the rules.
Watch how your baby is doing. Say things like «I appreciate you putting the plate in the sink» or «Thank you for playing so quietly while you’re on the phone.» Positive attention It can go a long way in motivating children to continue to do a good job.
Rewards good behavior
Whether you create a graphic decal focus on a certain behavior or create a behavior chart that tracks different behaviors during the week, tangible rewards can lead to a change in behavior. Keep in mind that there are many free and cheap rewards that work as good motivators. One idea is to go to the local dollar store and buy items for your child to choose from.
Establish a system of symbolic economy
Show your child that you need to earn privileges, such as video games or walking in the park. Set a symbolic economy system which allows the child to redeem their tokens for privileges.
Seek professional help
If your discipline strategies don’t work, seek professional help . Start by talking to your child’s pediatrician about your concerns. I can guide you to the appropriate service professionals in your community. A professional can provide you and your children with interventions, skills and support to help you regain control of your home.Coaches parents and parent support groups can also be valuable resources..