When your child becomes a teenager, his or her role as a parent is likely to change. You can become more of a guide than a performer. This does not mean that your child does not need to intervene when there are safety issues or that your teen does not need consequences. But right now, it’s a good idea to let your child make some decisions for himself, even when you think it’s a poor choice.
Typical behavior of adolescents
Teenagers like to test the limits of their independence. So, don’t be surprised when your teenager quarrels with you when you say no or when he does everything he wants behind you. There is also often a tow between parents and teenage children. Your child may ask you for help one minute and may not need it the next.
Adolescence can be a tumultuous time for teenagers, as they change physically, emotionally and socially. It is normal for teenagers to act responsibly and almost like an adult in certain areas of their lives, while maintaining their childish ways in other areas.
Meanwhile, like friendship As romantic relationships become more and more important, your teen will want to spend more time with colleagues. That means less interest in family time.
Your teen will want more Privacy . Maybe they want to continue private their conversations in social networks and they can spend much more time in their room with the door closed.
Although this can sometimes be annoying, all of these changes are a normal part of growing up. However, it is important to be aware of mental health issues as well drug use .
Depression, anxiety, eating disorders and substance abuse problems can occur during adolescence.
At this point, you only have a few years left to prepare your teenager for the real world. And it can be difficult to strike a balance that gives your child enough freedom and, at the same time, a lot of guidance.
Most teenagers want more freedom than they can handle. They may insist that they need one curfew later Or I can try to debate when you said no to a party. Answer It is also common, because your teenager will go through phases in which he insists that he knows everything and you know nothing about what it is like to be a teenager.
Your teenager can say that too independence insisting on doing things at your own pace. When you tell them to cut the grass or help with the pots, they are very likely to complain or tell you that they will do it later.
Your teen may even be tempered and upset because of relationship problems, problems with friends, and school problems.
It is also common for teenagers to lie in an attempt to get rid of problems. Your teen may deny breaking the rules or claim they have no idea how the core was made in the car. Your teenager can also experience different characters. They might like classical music in one week and heavy metal in the next. Or they can change the way they dress or wear their hair while looking for new ways to express themselves.
Discipline strategies that work
Just because your teen has expired (most of them would be happy if they were sent to their rooms) doesn’t mean you can’t inflict effective consequences. But it is important to find consequences that teach life lessons. Here are some of the most effective consequences for teens: .
- Remove the electronics . From smartphones to laptops , Screening time is important for most teenagers. Limit your teen’s phone privileges can be an effective consequence. Make sure it is for a limited time. Usually, 24 hours is enough to send a clear message to your teen.
- Take time with your friends . If your teen’s inappropriate behavior involves friends, take the right to see them as friends for a while. Push them for a few days or cancel your special weekend plans. A break from your friends can remind you to make a better decision next time.
- Adjust the rules . If your teen breaks the rules, he can show you that he can’t handle the freedom you give him. Implement the rules by giving them a curfew earlier or reducing the time spent using their electronic devices.
- Have the teen make a refund . Yes the behavior of It is Teenager hurts another person, create a remediation plan . Repairing something that has broken up or performing an extra chore for someone can help remedy the relationship and remind them to take responsibility for their behavior.
- Let your teenager cope with the natural consequences . The natural consequences may be the best teachers in certain situations. But it is important to make sure that the natural consequences really teach the teenager a life lesson. If so, turn around and let your teenager cope with the consequences of their decisions.
- Offer logical consequences . If your teen breaks something, have him pay to fix it. Or, if they are irresponsible with the car, take away their driving privileges. It creates consequences that are directly related to the poor decisions your teenager has made.
- Assign additional responsibilities . Take away the privileges of the teenager until you complete additional tasks or perform certain tasks. When they show you that they can be responsible, they can regain your privileges.
Preventing future problems
Behave like a helicopter parent overprotection And your teen will not learn to make healthy choices. However, if you are too permissive, they will not get the skills they need to become a responsible adult. These are the main strategies for prevent behavior problems in adolescents: .
- Avoid power struggles . When your teen says, «It’s not right!» or «I’ll do it later.» Resist the urge to argue. Set a firm limit and move on to a consequence. But don’t let yourself be swept away in a heated system Fight for power.
- Make your expectations clear . Before you let your teenager go to the movies or let him go to the skate park alone, make your expectations clear. Tell them what you want them to do if they find a problem and what time you expect them to get home.
- Let your teenager receive privileges . Whether your teenager wants expensive basketball shoes or asks for an hour of bed later, it is clear that privileges must be earned. If your teen’s behavior doesn’t guarantee privileges, don’t let him have them.
- Create a behavior contract . When you give your teen a new privilege, such as a smartphone or a subsequent curfew, create a behavior contract . Review the rules and describe the consequences of violating them. Have them sign the contract before they get the privilege.
- Be a good role model . Your teen learns more by watching what you do than by listening to what you say. So make sure you are a good role model in all areas of your teen’s life.
- Spend quality time together . Pay positive attention to adolescence to build a solid foundation for your relationship. Be willing to enter your teen’s world by learning to play a video game or watching a teen movie.
- Expect your teen to be responsible . Your child is likely to live up to your expectations as long as those expectations are reasonable. So, make it clear that you hope they do well in school or that you expect them to do their homework every day.
- Do not reserve discipline for serious violations of the rules . If yours 16-year-old son stay in your room and play video games all day, you may not behave badly. However, they may need some discipline to help them socialize and behave more responsibly. Provide discipline that helps your child improve, not just the punishment for wrongdoing.
You may find that your teen can’t stop talking to his or her friends. But when you ask him what his day was like, he may have nothing to say. Communicating with your teenager can sometimes seem like an uphill battle. But it is important to keep trying. Here are some of the most effective ways to talk to your teen:
- Communicate regularly . Healthy communication is the foundation of any good relationship. It is important to talk about everything from peer pressure to your goals for the future. When your teen knows he or she can talk to you, he or she is more likely to ask for your guidance.
- Speak during an activity . Insisting that your teen sit down and talk to you face to face about serious issues can cause it to shut down. You may find that your teen is more open to discussion when doing an activity together, such as playing ball or even going in the car.
- Don’t insist that your teenager talk to you . It’s healthy for your teen to gain some independence, so don’t insist on telling you everything. Help them identify other healthy adults they can always turn to for advice. An aunt, a grandmother, a coach, a teacher or a neighbor can be the type of person your child feels comfortable talking about.
- Solve the problems together . Instead of telling your teen how to do better, invite them to solve problems with you. Ask questions like «What can you do to help you remember to do your homework?» Brainstorm ideas together, then encourage your teen to choose a possible solution.
- Enter your teenager’s world . Your teen can communicate more freely through social media or text messages. So, be willing to step into your teenager’s world and talk to him in the way that opens most comfortably.